Thursday, October 4, 2012

your breath smells in the news


In last week's issue of New York magazine, Jason Feifer tests the Topland Etiquette Checker, a personal breath-stank analyzer that uses a smiley face system to rank your mouth on a scale from "infinitely kissable maw" to "dead animal baking in the summer sun." Feifer "soiled his mouth with garlicky onion dip and coffee," used a series of "masking agents" including gum, mints, mouthwashes, strips, natural remedies, and whiskey, and subjected first the Etiquette Checker, then his wife, to the waft. You can check out a chart detailing the results, and the verdict (a the machine deviated 43% from Feifer's wife!) here. I'm so curious about this project. How many days did it take? Did Feifer use these masking agents in the order listed? How many did his wife smell in one sitting?
 
Screencaps via Jezebel and Huffington Post

In other smell-your-loved-ones'-breath news, Honey Boo Boo Child (aka Alana Thompson) & family recently participated in what Tracie Egan Morrissey delightfully described as "an interesting parlor game" called Guess Whose Breath. You can watch the clip here (scroll down to the second, smaller video screen) and if you're in the mood for more but need a little nudge, let Rachel Shukert convince you that "your mind is [not] too beautiful to sully with the Victorian freak show that is modern American television" in her compelling essay on how the fascinating Thompson family provides "a reflection of the classic immigrant experience."


In still timelier breath news, when I went looking for the Neil deGrasse Tyson tweet screencapped above, the first thing I saw in my twitter feed was an assertion that "Romney breath smell like canned yams and taco meat," as speculated by @seanverde and re-tweeted by Heems of Das Racist (@HIMANSHU), who is, at the time of this writing, on a real Romney smells tear, RT-ing lots of poop & bullshit-themed tweets, but also speculation that Romney might smell like crayons, gravy, mildew, or Cheetos. And there are so many post-debate tweets about Romney's smell and breath to choose from (balloon air, baking soda, old bath water, Lay's Dill Pickles + Spicy Ketchup--these all come from real tweets)! As @silvyysilv says,"ppl are going ham on Romney breath."

15 comments:

Pauline Reed said...

Honey Boo Boo is so funny but I must agree that their show is quite weird that they even have a breath smelling game. Unless they visit the North Hollywood cosmetic dentist every so often, I don't see there'd be any problem.

nosy girl said...

Such sophisticated spam! It stays.

Anna Lebrun said...

That game is so funny, but anyway, I just do wonder if the Topland Etiquette Checker do really works? If it does I might suggest this checker to my friend after her appointment for dentures new york.

rona recoa said...

Those products are unsubstantiated with their claims and many studies have already published the inadequacies of those breath checker. They are unlike the breath testing apparatus of the traffic officers for alcohol. According to the publication of a dentist in melbourne, do not trust those breath DIY checkers but instead have an oral checkup if you suffer from chronic bad breath. It could be a saliva glandular problem or teeth / tongue and gum related problem.

Geoff Granfeld Jr said...

I bought this cause when I had low cost dental implants and it bothered me that I had bad breath. I used it everyday but I'm glad that no bad result showed not even once.

Georgina McCarthy said...

Love the name of the gadget. We must teach our children proper oral hygiene in their early years. Making it a habit would be advantageous to them and the people around them.

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